28th June 2018

I almost lost the fight today.

A massive trigger into suicidal thoughts brought on by finance, by the wrong doing of others and a failure by me to control my spending (albeit due to lack of knowledge of when fees where being taken).  It wasn’t just the suicidal thoughts of wanting to stick a kitchen knife in my arm, not my wrist my arm.

I am sick of people lying to me.  fed up to the back teeth.

I am sick of banks and people with holding the truth for their own benefit.

I am sick of my ex, trying to control me and my life, i am sick of the DWP assuming as i have been paid that i can do a 56 mile round trip to see them cos they cannot stick to a time frame.

a few cups of iced coffee sorted that. focused me, and if my kids are reading this, the thoughts of you makes me fight it. Makes me want to live, but without you in my life, it doesn’t even bear thinking about 🙁

This is after 122.00 in fees from a bank which is denying i went in to see them to get an overdraft after telling them i was having financial issues!

Message to Skipton Job Centre

“Hi, unfortunately i cannot afford the 56 mile round trip for the appointment arranged”

“Matthew, your payment date for UC is 28/06/18 and your travel expenses can be refunded. You are required to attend the next appointment at Skipton Job centre”

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY CIRCUMSTANCES?

what a snotty cow. (by the way it’s the same woman that told me i can’t get travel expenses for the trip, when previously i was getting travel expenses for it!)